We had a family and friend fast today. I’ve been thinking a lot about the faith to be healed and the faith to not be healed. I have pondered these things for many years. I have had instant healing a few times after a priesthood blessing. It is fantastic! And I believe in miracles. There are innumerable witnesses, in the scriptures and believers everywhere, of miracles, including instant healing. Most of my miracles, and perhaps this is much more common than the instant kind, are healing over time, through excellent medical care, or to live in an age where most things can be healed, or that I am still emotionally and spiritually strong after all of my medical challenges. There are many other blessings that are no less miraculous, just not as easy to recognize or acknowledge as miracles. The inspiration to know where to massage after knee surgery, getting into doctor appointments or tests in days, instead of the normal weeks or months to schedule, or having great insurance that takes the financial burden off, are miracles that I have experienced. So, do I have the faith to be healed? Yes. I know God is capable of any kind of healing and acts in our behalf constantly, I know that He will heal me if it is His will. In other words, the best way to solve not only this problem, but all the ripple effects of my healing. I know He loves me and knows everything, and always does the thing that will bless us the most. Do I have the faith to not be healed, but to remain faithful; to love God, to accept His will and His timing, no matter what that looks like? Yes. I know He loves me, I know He knows everything, I know He acts in my behalf and in behalf of my family, and all His children, and He has the power to and has promised to make up all losses for all who love Him. Now, the question is, what is His will? I guess I’ll find out.