I had a bad week last week with lots of side effects, so didn’t get an update done (sometimes I just don’t feel like communicating, to be honest.) I had another treatment yesterday. It was an easy one and seemed to go well. I’m having the usual first 24 hours of very mild side effects, followed by the face and neck rash, which is manageable. Hopefully an easier week follows.
This last week between the treatments was pretty rough. The treatment itself was easy and was the same meds that I have had from the beginning, but the side effects seemed to be much worse. I had vertigo (not severe but very disorienting and I was so unstable when I was on my feet.) The GI issues lasted 4 days instead of the usual 2, and I had the continuing back pain that has haunted me for three months now. It is muscular from still being able to use only one side of my body well, and I think that I was tensing my back with each step with the cane, making it worse. So often we create our own pain with bad habits that someone else has to make us aware of, and then help us undo.
I’m going to PT for my back and arm. It is helping my back. My shoulder and arm have more movement, but still so much pain and weakness. The physical therapist has me move my arm and shoulder, even if I have to use my good arm to lift and do some of the movements. “I have to keep it moving”, he says, even if the muscles aren’t doing much of the work. The surgeon that took out the tumor says I have nerve damage in my radial nerve from the tumor/break/surgery. That was frustrating news. Nerve issues take so much more time to heal than I want to give. I wrote another post about that if you want to read it. It’s called “Distraction”.
We’re starting the organ checkups (heart, kidneys, liver, etc) that have to be done before I am approved for a Bone Marrow/stem cell Transplant, so I’ll be really busy with lots of scans and doctor appointments for the next month. Next week I have 11 doctor appointments, 7 just on Thursday. It’s going to be quite a week.
But that’s a good development, because it means my body is responding well enough for the oncologist to move to the next level of treatment. If all goes well, the BMT (that’s what all the doctors call it, so I will, too) should take place in July.
I just got home from the ultrasound on my heart. It was so amazing! My favorite part was watching the valves open and close in perfect rhythm, and the red and blue blood being pumped in and out. The miracle of the human body (even one with major illness) is humbling and a sign of God’s knowledge, power and love. Hopefully the video at the start doesn’t make you queasy. I loved watching the whole ultrasound, and wish I understood everything I was seeing.
In addition to God’s power and knowledge to create our bodies, I think of the hundreds of years of knowledge that has built up and blessed us as brilliant people have learned about the body. We’ve come a long way from shamans and leaches, but even they were steps on the path to discovery. The knowledge and gifts that God has given to people to understand and heal our bodies is miraculous.
Those who study and understand nutrition and its power to maintain health and heal us are seriously overlooked in today’s world. I am learning more about that, although changing my habits is unfortunately much harder than learning what should change.
All the tests that can be done to discover the source of problems are miraculous! Consider the ultrasound, a little wand that can see through ribs and everything between the skin and the organ to measure every functional part of it. I am in awe. Think about the medicines and therapy and surgeries that have been discovered and developed to help people. Even with all its problems, modern medicine is a gift, and I am a grateful beneficiary of it.
I hope I can recognize the constant stream of miracles I am granted, not matter what some days are like. Like most things, the more I look for, the more miracles are everywhere around me. I hope we all can recognized God’s hand in our lives every day. He loves His children, everywhere and is doing things all the time to bless them, including you and your loved ones.
In a conference for our church last week, one of our church leaders, Elder Kearon said, (these are my notes from his talk, so are not direct quotes), God is in relentless pursuit of us. Everything about God’s plan is designed to bring every one of us home. The intent of His plan is our Happiness. He does not put up barriers; He removes them.
I hope you feel God’s love and His desire for your happiness. I feel it every day, even on the bad ones.